A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. – Mark Twain
When we do not approve of our behaviours and actions we spend a good portion of our time feeling self conscious, judged, and uncomfortable in general. Anyone who has ever doubted themselves or been hard on themselves knows this to be true.
On the other hand, when we approve of ourselves we open up the door for life to flow through us. We feel happy, free, and able to do just about anything. A certain inner freedom and peacefulness overcomes us.
The lack of self approval is a huge obstacle when it comes to personal growth. We may have all the tools that we need to be successful and to grow, but may feel a certain inner resistance. No matter how much we try or how logically certain we are that we deserve to grow, we just can’t seem to. We feel stuck. And because we feel stuck, we begin to fill our heads with self defeating, self sabotaging talk, which is the polar opposite of self approval.
Below are 5 steps to self approval:
- Identify the most common limiting beliefs that you find within your own self talk. For example: “I can’t do anything right” or “I’m not good enough”.
- Once you have identified these negative core beliefs, challenge these thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. For example “Everyone makes mistakes, I will do better the next time.” Or “I am just as good everyone else. I deserve to win!”
- Stay mindful and whenever you notice the negative thoughts creeping back in, interrupt them with a positive thought immediately.
- Show some self appreciation and do something nice for yourself. Compliment your abilities and dwell on the things that you do well.
- Write two self appreciations each day for a week. At the end of the week, read your self appreciations out loud and with enthusiasm! Save your list and feel free to add on to it as you think of more things to appreciate yourself for. Read over your lists often, but especially when you are doubting yourself.